After Pokarah, border town and Varanasi

After pokarah we had arranged to go canyoning on the edge of chitwan national park in an area of famous jungle, where they do elephant safaris and where I had been years before on my first trip. Unfortunately we didn't have time for a safari.

We arrived at the start point, a hotel, it was quality! We were on the edge of a big river with straw huts and a bar on the beach. Dunny had hurt himself to badly to do canyoning... He'd fallen off a cliff... 4 times!

The canyoning was class, we hiked along a river to the top of a 60ft waterfall which we where to absail down. The walk had taken it's toll, we had all slipped and fallen more than once and where bleeding, the guides dogs where leading the way and seemed to be taking the piss as they bounded up things we struggled with. We started with a natural slide along the river that was cut into the rock. It was mine and Scottish's first time absailing and we where strapped on and off, after a quick briefing which would not have counted for anything at all in the uk. Getting off the edge was the hardest bit, trusting myself and the knot. Once over the edge with the water crashing down on me I loved it! We had another waterfall on the way back and a plunge pool, although this first one was the best.

*

Back at the hotel we'd arranged to stay for the night, for £4 each well happy. They the. Proceeded to show us to our tents! Are you retarded? You've seen us turn up in a camper with beds, why would we then pay for a tent with no beds? Needless to say we left and headed towards the border. A bad night sleeping by the road and we where at the birth place of Buddha. What a waste of time, just a few ruins that we couldn't be bothered to walk the 12 miles to see. We did see a bloke with the most disgusting piles we have ever seen! Hobbit don't have shit on that! This bloke was squatted by the road and was literally shitting out his insides! Bigger then a coke can by miles!

The border was now in sight! Hello India! We passed through the Nepalese side without issue, this was great news as when Gaz crashed...add that to the list Dunny...we where told by police that we couldn't get out without paperwork! Ha screw you! On the way into India we where sent back to customs... "Do you have your Carnet de Passage?" Umm... Nope. 

After two days of listening to jobsworths and people with massive egos and we where still without Sal. How this country functions with so much paperwork and lazy beurocrates I dont know. The van was stuck at the border, whilst we where to continue and try to get a Carnet sorted on the way. As useless the guys at the border where it was an interesting, if not enjoyable experience. They where also very hospitable and the top boys (who did nothing except read the paper, boss people around, shout for a stapler and sign the occasional paper) ordered us breakfast and lunch off their lackeys. 

Next stop Gorkpur, hoping that the hotel would be better than the COD set from last night! The hotel was banging! We stayed in the former home of the first deputy police commissioner from the days of British occupation. This colonial mansion is now run by his grandson and there was a wedding there during our stay, good fun and a nice place to chill for a couple of days. The big differences we've noticed so far is the filth, India is disgustingly dirty! The people, they love us!  And the poverty, India has more incredibly poor people than anywhere else we've been.

The train to Varanasi was a nice journey through rural India, field and small hamlets to the backdrop of a red sunset, with mist rolling over the fields. Varanasi itself was like something out of lord of the rings once you got to the far side of the Ganges and looked back across, enormous buildings standing right on the river front and bodies burning up and down the river. Very impressive. On the boat a young lad with great English and a really cheeky selling tactic sold us some floating candles with flowers on. We all brought some and lit them for a family member, to give them luck, the overall look when loads of different boats with people on where doing it all at once was class.

We signed up for a tour, £6 each and we got a tour of the city where we went to a monkey temple where they queued up for hours to walk one way around the centre piece and a guard whacked any monkey that came close enough to him, one baby monkey squeaked and jumped up on it's mother who scarpered up the building. Another temple had the weirdest electric puppet display, proper freaky!

That night we went out on the water and watched the sunset then a religious fire show with drums and dancing. Religion is nuts! 

All the kids here fly these little kites that get to tremendous heights, pretty impressive and some get so high that it takes a while to work out who's flying them.

On the bank with all the buildings however it was a bit of a different tale, rubbish piled up and a stench of urine was unavoidable and it was astonishing that people burnt their families amongst all this crap. We did however get to play the locals at cricket and that was class...although we lost, when Scottish came into bat they all laughed as he held the bat like a faggot. I was still the worst though.

A frustrating start to India 

Stew

Jaipur to Mumbai

We left Jaipur around lunchtime and headed towards Ahmedabad. We had some long days ahead of us. Our mission now was to get to Mumbai in good enough time to give us a day searching for a shipping agent. It was getting late as we arrived Ahmedabad, it was dark and rush hour was in full swing. Me and Dunny were on the bikes and got separated from the van. We found ourselves on different roads out of the city. We managed to get hold of the lads in the van, they were parked on the other side of a toll gate about 100km south of where me and Dunny were. We got to the toll gate where we thought the lads were at about 11.30pm but there was no sign of them. We tried ringing again with no luck. We gave up and began to head off, then we saw the van and the lads. It was surrounded by a group of Sikh's who insisted we came into their temple for food and drink. They took us upstairs to meet the Sikh gurus who were reading from the big book. The gurus were cool looking guys, big white beards and traditional dress. The Sikhs hospitality and sense of community had impressed us all and we left with good impression of their faith.

We decided to put one more hour under us, we finally parked up for the night in a petrol station at about 1am. The 5 of us in the van bedded down for the night. The following day Dunny's bike was playing up. It had lost compression was wasn't starting. We put it in the back of the van and continued on towards Mumbai.

After another slog of a day we were approaching the outskirts of Mumbai. We had all been reading a book called Shantaram, a story of a New Zealand convict who lived in the Mumbai slums for years. He wrote about a bar called Leopolds which was popular with expats, we had decided to go there for a drink when we arrived in Mumbai.  This time it was mine and Stews turn to get separated. After a toll gate and a load of traffic there was no sign of the van. We had no way of contacting each other so headed straight to Leopolds hoping the others would think the same. We fought our way through the traffic asking for directions to the Colaba area. One guy we asked said I'm going that way so he jumped on the back of my bike and directed us to Leopolds. There was no sign of the van, we went and got fuel then back to Leopolds, on the other side of the road in the distance was big sal! We sounded our trademark tune on the bikes horn which got the lads attention. We were back together. We parked the van up on a nice street, had a few beers then went to bed in the van.

The following day we had a fair bit to do. We wanted to find a shipping agent and get the ball rolling for shipping the van home. Me, Stew and Dunny rode to the port, after being sent to the customs house then back to the main gate we found a few agents. Stew went into one, me and Dunny another. Stews looked promising, he was in their office for about an hour until they turned around and said sorry we don't deal with this sort of shipping. Me and Dunny made a bit more progress, got a quote but didn't have much confidence in the agent. It wasn't looking particularly good, we were about to give up for the day then me and Dunny spotted one more agent. We went in and were impressed. He gave us an itemised quote explaining all the costs. We exchanged contact details then headed back to the van.

It was our last night in Mumbai for a while so we decided to have a night out. We had some pre drinks in the van. Stew had met a guy from Monaco earlier in the day so he came along too. Before long there was a small gathering of locals around the van. There was a group of school kids who were becoming really annoying, they were trying to grab anything they get there hands on. We asked them nicely to leave a few times but they didn't listen. Gaz came up with the solution. A few blasts of the powder fire extinguisher in the rough direction did the trick. The whole area was in a white cloud. There was no more sign of the kids. We headed to a couple of bars and a club.

The following day we met a Belgian guy and French girl. The Belgian guy had cycled from Belgium to India. He wanted to go to Goa by bus but taking his bike on the bus was troublesome. We took it down and planned to meet them in Goa.

Later that day we left for Goa.

Rob

After Pokarah, border town and Varanasi

After pokarah we had arranged to go canyoning on the edge of chitwan national park in an area of famous jungle, where they do elephant safaris and where I had been years before on my first trip. Unfortunately we didn't have time for a safari.

We arrived at the start point, a hotel, it was quality! We were on the edge of a big river with straw huts and a bar on the beach. Dunny had hurt himself to badly to do canyoning... He'd fallen off a cliff... 4 times!

The canyoning was class, we hiked along a river to the top of a 60ft waterfall which we where to absail down. The walk had taken it's toll, we had all slipped and fallen more than once and where bleeding, the guides dogs where leading the way and seemed to be taking the piss as they bounded up things we struggled with. We started with a natural slide along the river that was cut into the rock. It was mine and Scottish's first time absailing and we where strapped on and off, after a quick briefing which would not have counted for anything at all in the uk. Getting off the edge was the hardest bit, trusting myself and the knot. Once over the edge with the water crashing down on me I loved it! We had another waterfall on the way back and a plunge pool, although this first one was the best.

*

Back at the hotel we'd arranged to stay for the night, for £4 each well happy. They the. Proceeded to show us to our tents! Are you retarded? You've seen us turn up in a camper with beds, why would we then pay for a tent with no beds? Needless to say we left and headed towards the border. A bad night sleeping by the road and we where at the birth place of Buddha. What a waste of time, just a few ruins that we couldn't be bothered to walk the 12 miles to see. We did see a bloke with the most disgusting piles we have ever seen! Hobbit don't have shit on that! This bloke was squatted by the road and was literally shitting out his insides! Bigger then a coke can by miles!

The border was now in sight! Hello India! We passed through the Nepalese side without issue, this was great news as when Gaz crashed...add that to the list Dunny...we where told by police that we couldn't get out without paperwork! Ha screw you! On the way into India we where sent back to customs... "Do you have your Carnet de Passage?" Umm... Nope. 

After two days of listening to jobsworths and people with massive egos and we where still without Sal. How this country functions with so much paperwork and lazy beurocrates I dont know. The van was stuck at the border, whilst we where to continue and try to get a Carnet sorted on the way. As useless the guys at the border where it was an interesting, if not enjoyable experience. They where also very hospitable and the top boys (who did nothing except read the paper, boss people around, shout for a stapler and sign the occasional paper) ordered us breakfast and lunch off their lackeys. 

Next stop Gorkpur, hoping that the hotel would be better than the COD set from last night! The hotel was banging! We stayed in the former home of the first deputy police commissioner from the days of British occupation. This colonial mansion is now run by his grandson and there was a wedding there during our stay, good fun and a nice place to chill for a couple of days. The big differences we've noticed so far is the filth, India is disgustingly dirty! The people, they love us!  And the poverty, India has more incredibly poor people than anywhere else we've been.

The train to Varanasi was a nice journey through rural India, field and small hamlets to the backdrop of a red sunset, with mist rolling over the fields. Varanasi itself was like something out of lord of the rings once you got to the far side of the Ganges and looked back across, enormous buildings standing right on the river front and bodies burning up and down the river. Very impressive. On the boat a young lad with great English and a really cheeky selling tactic sold us some floating candles with flowers on. We all brought some and lit them for a family member, to give them luck, the overall look when loads of different boats with people on where doing it all at once was class.

We signed up for a tour, £6 each and we got a tour of the city where we went to a monkey temple where they queued up for hours to walk one way around the centre piece and a guard whacked any monkey that came close enough to him, one baby monkey squeaked and jumped up on it's mother who scarpered up the building. Another temple had the weirdest electric puppet display, proper freaky!

That night we went out on the water and watched the sunset then a religious fire show with drums and dancing. Religion is nuts! 

All the kids here fly these little kites that get to tremendous heights, pretty impressive and some get so high that it takes a while to work out who's flying them.

On the bank with all the buildings however it was a bit of a different tale, rubbish piled up and a stench of urine was unavoidable and it was astonishing that people burnt their families amongst all this crap. We did however get to play the locals at cricket and that was class...although we lost, when Scottish came into bat they all laughed as he held the bat like a faggot. I was still the worst though.

A frustrating start to India 

Stew

Erenhot to the Great Wall

After meeting jimmy our guide we proceeded to clear the van into china. It was all going well till they informed us that we needed to leave Big Sal at the border for a day to sort relevant paperwork. This meaning spending a night at a hotel in the reasonably smart town of Erenhot. Quite good to get a shower and a decent nights kip ready for our adventure through china. Straight away we noticed the difference from Mongolia. There was a system, roads that were roads, clean streets and everyone seemed to be doing something.

The next morning we woke up bright and early to go collect Big Sal. She was free and we were ready to hit the road en route to the mighty Great Wall. The roads were class, didn't take us long to knock the miles off. Stopping at a old dinosaur site was a highlight of the drive. The general industry in china was noticeable straight away, every town had factories standing out from miles away. After making good progress we hit a stinking traffic jam holding us up for hours, only to find out we were in the wrong bloody que. The drive following this was stunning which made up for it. 

The next morning was the Great Wall. Booooommmmmm!!! As we approached, all around you could see the wall stretching along the hills. Winding in and out, up and down. Quite an impressive sight. Amazing to think they built in thousands of years ago. The first part of the wall to visit was a more touristy section Bandaling. Built in1368-1644 and heavily restored in the 1950s. It was a stronghold point, a fort surrounded by a series of walls running into the rolling hills with many watchtowers scattered throughout. One of the watchtowers was a place they used to set fires to raise an alarm of an attack for the rest of the wall to let others know the wall had been breached. There was hundreds maybe thousands of people so we were keen to move to a less touristy spot. But before that perfect opportunity for a where's willy!

The next spot that we arrived at was a part of the wall that had not been rebuilt. It was to much of a walk so we proceeded to the next part Mutianyu. A 3km section with 26 watchtowers built in the Ming dynasty

We caught the chair lift to the top of the wall. Trying to walk as much of it as we could before it shut. This part of the wall was rebuilt to a really good standard, until we reached a part that was still in ruins. It was good to see what it really looked like. After chilling for a bit we headed back down. Finding a perfect spot for some photos, we stopped and got our camera man (jimmy) to take a few photos. We noticed a few people looking up at us as were in full posing position. Oops we obviously had no clothes on. A few people had a eyeball of all three of us. Next thing was the slide away, basically a toboggan type thing that takes you down from the top of the wall to ground level. "Your a pussy if you use the breaks" we didn't we nailed it down! Every little junction Chinese blokes telling us to slow down. Bollocks to that we went even faster! Cya! 

At the bottom we met a few Germans who were keen for a lift to Beijing. As we were going that way they jumped in and Beijing was in our sights. 

Dunny 

Beijing birthday

Getting into Beijing was easy enough as jimmy had been to uni there, we dropped ze Germans off and found a tidy hostel and arranged to meet them later for a drink. We had a quick turn around and got down to the hostel bar. After chatting to some Swiss, Swedes and a Yank, together we headed out to meet Ze Germans lakeside. Our taxis split up and we had no way of getting hold of each other as Dunny and Jimmy (the only 2 with phones) where in the same car... Well thought through! Pissed we wandered around the lakes looking for them, after about an hour we where giving up when we spotted some whites... Ze Germans! Then almost straight after we met Dunny and co. Jackpot! Keen to make up lost time we headed to a bar £3.50 a drink jog on! A man promised to take us to a bar for £1.70 a drink, off we went and got some beers. Sitting round chatting we started to realise there was a really high ratio of women to men. Bit more chatting and beers, they're not wearing much. Few more beers and "would you like a woman?"... Definitely in a brass house! One of our number was extremely happy about this and had mixed emotions as we moved on. A great night was finished off with singing on the way home and back at the hostel. Big day tommorrow!

Woke up feeling rough! Only one thing for it at 10am...firewater and a trip to the forbidden city! As it was my big day I had very little to say in the proceedings. A great bag and hat combo later and I was ready for one of the most famous places in china and the number one thing to see according to the lonely planet. In all fairness it was pretty cool. Ringed by a 52m-wide moat at the very heart of Běijīng, the Forbidden City is China’s largest and best-preserved collection of ancient buildings, and the largest palace complex in the world. So called because it was off limits for 500 years. Jimmy tried his hardest to educate us on the history of china as we ran around the forbidden city, chasing each other, photo bombing and trying to out gay the Chinese photo's (a very hard task but i think we managed) one fact that stands out from Jimmy's speale is that the emperor had 1000 wives in one room... and they don't even make sandwiches in china! After falling/diving into a cauldron and kicking a man in the face in the process, jimmy finally gave up on us and agreed that we should move on. The first thing on the boys agenda was a shopping trip to get me something suitable to wear...a Chinese ladies dress. 

In the silk market they sell everything! We decided to come back sober to spend more time looking around, at that moment we went only to dress shops. We found the perfect dress, tried haggling but when you start the conversation with "lads that is f@#king perfect!" You're never getting far. I was obliged to immediately put on the dress and walk around the silk market, still with firewater in hand. As Chinese people take photos of normal white people a large white transvestite really got their attention! 

After an interesting tube ride we arrived at the hostel at happy hour! Luck continues!  They loved the dress and more photos where taken. Then the staff brought me out a birthday cake and sang me happy birthday. Jimmy is a proper lightweight! After one drinking sesh with the English he was sick on himself and put to bed, he was trying his hardest to be professional too... Chin up son! Things quickly escalated as we got people of all nationalities in on ring of fire, they loved it! King is sing then put it back in. When we eventually brought our own firewater down, the staff noticed after a while and decided this was enough of a reason to send us to bed. Back in the room with the firewater and Dunny hit dribble mode, then aggressive mode, 'Nobby you Scottish t#%t don't tell me what to do' mode as Nobby tried to put the not walking Dunny to bed as he swang at him " try and hit me again and I'll drop you!" Me and Nobby headed out, didn't get far and stumbled back to find James asleep on the road... He'd managed to walk again. We put him over our shoulders and headed back. My night ended here and I can't remember falling asleep in a thong, Dunny somehow got a second wind and made it out with Nobby and a New Zealander. His second wind didn't last long though and he passed out in a bar...on the New Zealander. When Nobby finally put him to bed he still had his shoes on. Unlucky son! He got nail varnish to the face and eye brows. At some point during the night he got his trousers halfway down and it looked well dodge! All the people in the hostel got treated to a great view through the window of our room...

The next day we went to the silk market and brought electrics, what a place! Everything you could want to buy under one roof. Haggling people, every shop with a "fixed price" sign, the best fake electrics ever and also dress shops. Later we went to a Kung fu show put on by the ancient shaulin monks. It wasn't great, more a love story than what we wanted...people doing acrobatics with Kung fu is what we'd expected. We think Jimmy was on a bit of an earner by taking us there. 

Anyway, we've had a class time in Beijing now onwards to mount Tai.

Stew

Delhi and Hardiwar

I said farewell to my Dad and booked into Zostel in Delhi to wait for the lads to arrive.  It was good to meet up again after a month of being apart. We had some decisions to make with regards to what to do with the van which was still impounded at the border. It was 3weeks until the girls arrived in Goa so we had to decide fast. After investigating every possibility it left us with two options.

Option 1-hire a van, drive the hire van to the border town, empty our belongings and anything worth any money, say goodbye to big sal, drive back to Delhi, ship belongings home and continue by backpack.

Option 2 - send a load of money off to the RAC in England for the carnet of passage, then hope they can process the carnet and deliver it to Delhi in 2weeks, half the time it normally takes just to process it. 2 weeks left us with one week left to get to Goa to meet the girls for Christmas, it was cutting it very fine by possible.

A carnet of passage is a document which allows a foreign vehicle to be temporarily imported to a country without paying import duty. The affiliated automobile association from the country where the vehicle is registered (RAC in the UK), needs to guarantee that if the vehicle is not exported within the permitted 1 year allowed they will pay the relevant import duty.  It is therefore the responsibility of the vehicle owner, us, to pay a whacking great big deposit to the RAC for them to issue the carnet. Half of the deposit will be returned to us when we prove the vehicle has left India.

We obviously made a spreadsheet to compare the costs and after a vote we decided to take the gamble and go with option 2. We sent the money off and were promised that the carnet would be fast tracked due to our situation and be processed within a week. Things were looking up.

Next on the agenda was to go Enfield shopping for Stew and Dunny. Stew found a nice 500cc bike and negotiated a good price. After the transaction was complete it was time for Stew to get on and ride it. 'Stew, it's 1 up and 3 down' Stew looked blank, 'ahhhhh the gears...' The vendor asked Stew, who had never rode a bike before, where are you heading? Stew replied with Kerala, 3000km away. The guy looked shocked as Stew stalled a few times then wobbled his way down the road.

Next was Dunny's turn. We found a shop on the next road with a very nice looking 350 for a good price. After a bit of tweaking and fine tuning the bike was ready and the money had changed hands. It was Dunny's turn to make a fool out of himself. After struggling to get it to start, and a few  stalls he was off, like a rocket almost taking out a pedestrian.  To finish off their first lesson we hit Delhi rush hour.

During this time Gaz was bed bound, his Delhi belly was still in full swing. He had a problem with farting in his sleep, but the farts weren't only farts. After soiling his boxers he went for the 'wrap yourself in a towel' approach. All this meant was he woke up with a shitty towel. He had yellow bile coming out of both ends but was gradually on the mend.

We were excited, we had three Enfields and were all competent motor cyclists, sort of. That evening there was one thing for it, go for a blast around Delhi. Gaz was felling well enough to get out and was able to controll his bowels. We smashed it around Connaught Place, a ring road system around New Delhi centre. It felt like we were on the Cheltenham cruise. Next stop was India Gate, again a massive roundabout circling the India Gate archway. Dunny's bike developed a knocking sound so we pottered back to the hostel.

Our plan was to head off early towards the mountains but we had to go via the bike shop to repair Dunny's. They stripped the engine down and found the problem. The big end bearing had disintegrated leaving chunks of white metal bearing shell in the sump. It needed a complete rebuild. This meant another night in Delhi and a good excuse for a night out. Delhi has a no drinking policy in most areas but one road is cordoned off as a drinking spot. We had a good night. We went to collect Dunny's bike at the agreed time and surprise surprise it wasn't finished. We were getting fed up of Indians constantly promising what they couldn't deliver. It was getting frustrating. 6 hours later Dunny's bike was back together.

We had some good news, the carnet had been processed and was on it's way to India. Eager to get out of Delhi for a few days we began heading north towards Hardiwar. Three bikes, with five of us in total. Me, Stew and Dunny riding with Gaz and Scottish on the back. As we were leaving the outskirts of Delhi, Stew and Gaz came past me and Scottish in traffic. Stew thought it was funny to look over and give us a rude hand signal, then whack, the joke was on him as he went into the back of a parked lorry. It was only slow so no real damage was done but hilarious.  It began to get dark so we started looking for a place to stay. It was wedding season and a Saturday so all the hotels along the main road were fully booked. After food and a puncture we managed to find one room in a hotel at 11.30pm. There was three in the bed and the little one said roll over. With the 5 of us in one room we settled down for the night.

The following afternoon we arrived in Hardiwar, a sacred town on the banks of the River Ganges. It was a nice town where many Indian pilgrims visit for a dip in the Holy Ganges. We had been tracking the status of our consignment and after going from Heathrow to Germany and back to Heathrow, it was finally on it's way to Delhi. This was our que to return. We put in a long day and got back to Zostel in Delhi at 8pm that evening. It was a shame we didn't have time to go 50 km further north, into the foot hills of the Himalayas but our time precious so we had to return.

We had a good and productive week, now we had our fingers crossed the carnet would arrive and we could free big sal.

Rob