Getting into Beijing was easy enough as jimmy had been to uni there, we dropped ze Germans off and found a tidy hostel and arranged to meet them later for a drink. We had a quick turn around and got down to the hostel bar. After chatting to some Swiss, Swedes and a Yank, together we headed out to meet Ze Germans lakeside. Our taxis split up and we had no way of getting hold of each other as Dunny and Jimmy (the only 2 with phones) where in the same car... Well thought through! Pissed we wandered around the lakes looking for them, after about an hour we where giving up when we spotted some whites... Ze Germans! Then almost straight after we met Dunny and co. Jackpot! Keen to make up lost time we headed to a bar £3.50 a drink jog on! A man promised to take us to a bar for £1.70 a drink, off we went and got some beers. Sitting round chatting we started to realise there was a really high ratio of women to men. Bit more chatting and beers, they're not wearing much. Few more beers and "would you like a woman?"... Definitely in a brass house! One of our number was extremely happy about this and had mixed emotions as we moved on. A great night was finished off with singing on the way home and back at the hostel. Big day tommorrow!
Woke up feeling rough! Only one thing for it at 10am...firewater and a trip to the forbidden city! As it was my big day I had very little to say in the proceedings. A great bag and hat combo later and I was ready for one of the most famous places in china and the number one thing to see according to the lonely planet. In all fairness it was pretty cool. Ringed by a 52m-wide moat at the very heart of Běijīng, the Forbidden City is China’s largest and best-preserved collection of ancient buildings, and the largest palace complex in the world. So called because it was off limits for 500 years. Jimmy tried his hardest to educate us on the history of china as we ran around the forbidden city, chasing each other, photo bombing and trying to out gay the Chinese photo's (a very hard task but i think we managed) one fact that stands out from Jimmy's speale is that the emperor had 1000 wives in one room... and they don't even make sandwiches in china! After falling/diving into a cauldron and kicking a man in the face in the process, jimmy finally gave up on us and agreed that we should move on. The first thing on the boys agenda was a shopping trip to get me something suitable to wear...a Chinese ladies dress.
In the silk market they sell everything! We decided to come back sober to spend more time looking around, at that moment we went only to dress shops. We found the perfect dress, tried haggling but when you start the conversation with "lads that is f@#king perfect!" You're never getting far. I was obliged to immediately put on the dress and walk around the silk market, still with firewater in hand. As Chinese people take photos of normal white people a large white transvestite really got their attention!
After an interesting tube ride we arrived at the hostel at happy hour! Luck continues! They loved the dress and more photos where taken. Then the staff brought me out a birthday cake and sang me happy birthday. Jimmy is a proper lightweight! After one drinking sesh with the English he was sick on himself and put to bed, he was trying his hardest to be professional too... Chin up son! Things quickly escalated as we got people of all nationalities in on ring of fire, they loved it! King is sing then put it back in. When we eventually brought our own firewater down, the staff noticed after a while and decided this was enough of a reason to send us to bed. Back in the room with the firewater and Dunny hit dribble mode, then aggressive mode, 'Nobby you Scottish t#%t don't tell me what to do' mode as Nobby tried to put the not walking Dunny to bed as he swang at him " try and hit me again and I'll drop you!" Me and Nobby headed out, didn't get far and stumbled back to find James asleep on the road... He'd managed to walk again. We put him over our shoulders and headed back. My night ended here and I can't remember falling asleep in a thong, Dunny somehow got a second wind and made it out with Nobby and a New Zealander. His second wind didn't last long though and he passed out in a bar...on the New Zealander. When Nobby finally put him to bed he still had his shoes on. Unlucky son! He got nail varnish to the face and eye brows. At some point during the night he got his trousers halfway down and it looked well dodge! All the people in the hostel got treated to a great view through the window of our room...
The next day we went to the silk market and brought electrics, what a place! Everything you could want to buy under one roof. Haggling people, every shop with a "fixed price" sign, the best fake electrics ever and also dress shops. Later we went to a Kung fu show put on by the ancient shaulin monks. It wasn't great, more a love story than what we wanted...people doing acrobatics with Kung fu is what we'd expected. We think Jimmy was on a bit of an earner by taking us there.
Anyway, we've had a class time in Beijing now onwards to mount Tai.
Stew
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